The Christmas Grinch showed up early — mid-October, to be precise — and the Top End market went quiet enough to hear Santa sigh. The usual December buzz has been replaced with ghost listings, vanishing buyers, and agents taking RDOs like it’s 1994. Of the 60+ prestige properties listed recently, only 10% sold. The rest? Bridesmaids in full makeup, no dance partners, and prices that belong in a time capsule.
All Dressed Up, No Offers in Sight
December is usually the season of selling but this year agents are skipping sales meetings, vendors are dodging reality and buyers are staying home.
60+ prestige listings. 10% sold. Most off-market.
Santa’s bag is empty. No toys. No joy.
Bridesmaids of Toorak: 2025’s Missed Connections
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58 Hopetoun Road – 400 days. No offer. Not even a nod.
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3–4 Montrose Court – $29M land with last year’s playbook and this year’s result: zilch.
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47 Murphy Street – Price so high even Elon couldn’t orbit it.
Same overpriced story under every doona. And if you’re still listed in 2026, better bring wine to the pity party.
A $30 Million Mystery?
Two sales on the same Toorak street — one at $52M, the other at $88M. Same agent. Same postcode. $36M apart.
Even Sydney doesn’t jump that fast.
Either someone hit the jackpot or Monopoly just went deluxe.
Toorak Towers: The Rise of the Fortified Fortress
Two Bruce Street penthouses over $20M each — confirmed.
Rumours of similar outcomes at Jam Factory.
The new luxury? Security. Concierge over courtyard.
Thank the government — they’ve pushed the buyers upstairs.
Expats Gone, Foreign Buyers Ghosted
Remember the holograms with $100M budgets? Gone.
The real buyers are locals — and they’re not chasing fantasy.
What’s Hot, What’s Not
Hot: Fully finished, turnkey homes — preferably furnished.
Not: Anything that needs imagination.
Truffles exist, but blink and you’ll miss them.
Long Settlements & Secret Sales
The big deals are settling late — and quietly. You won’t hear about them until the title changes hands.
Stealth wealth is in. Noise is out.
Underquoting: The Reckoning (Kind Of)
After years of shouting, we’ve got movement: auction reserves to be disclosed in 2026.
But here comes the twist:
The industry’s already plotting.
EOIs will take over — opaque, arbitrary, and perfect for hiding price truth.
It’s like trying to land a jet on a spinning top in a storm.
Brighton: A Year of Contradictions
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16 Moule Avenue – Sold after 3.5 years to… the neighbour.
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2 Kinane Street – $25M to a developer. (Last year’s offer? $20M.)
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1–4/15 Sussex Street – Bought for $8.75M in 2022, sold for $7.1M.
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8 Hammond Street – 6 agents, 2 years, $4M down.
The crypto kids are still kicking around, but the golden tide’s gone out — fast.
The Peninsula: From Mist to Fog
Land tax has blanketed the coast.
Properties becoming $30k/week “holiday rentals” — while the ATO circles.
The dream of the coastal escape? Becoming a compliance nightmare.
2025’s Vanishing Act: The Transactional Advisor
Remember the mid-tier “advisors” who sat above agents and guided deals?
Gone.
You need sales to advise on sales. And the sales aren’t happening.
Witches, Wizards, and the Final Crash of Pinocchio
A new witch in Toorak, with spells that fizzle and a brand already wobbling.
And Pinocchio? Still pulling rabbits from hats — but Toorak’s watching the curtain fall.
No sales. No magic. No future.
Even Santa wouldn’t list with him.
The Final Auction: No Bidders, No Mercy
Last auction of the year.
No other buyers.
One warning to the auctioneer:
“If you take a vendor bid on me, I’ll take your knees off.”
15 seconds. One bid. Done.
Disclosed reserves could make this the new normal.